The Item

Garage sales are a funny thing. Every year my sister has a garage sale along with several other families from her neighborhood. Throughout the year I stow away items that we don't use anymore, don't like anymore or have been replaced by the bigger, better and newer version. In the weeks before her sale I dig out all the tubs I've been stowing in and go through it to price things and try to make my junk look at least somewhat attractive. I always find it amazing how many picture frames I pull out of those tubs. I'm beginning to think they mate and multiply in the dark confines of their Rubbermaid tubs.
The saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure" is proven correct every year at this sale. There always seems to be at least one Item that I nearly throw away as I pull it from the tubs thinking, there's no way someone is really going to buy this...and I'm pretty embarrassed to even include it among my trash. But then I remember the previous year's Item and I slap a ridiculous price on it just to see if this year will follow suit with all the others.
This year The Item was...drumroll please...a bag of used pacifiers. Now let me explain before you think I'm totally sick and truly just out to make a buck. Well, I might be out to make a buck, but I'm not totally sick. Neither of my kids ever liked pacifiers. W preferred his thumb from birth, much to my dismay. No pacifier ever stayed in his mouth for longer than the time it took for him to effectively stain any outfit I ever wore as soon as I picked him up, which was about two seconds. We tried about 6 different types of pacifiers with him, all were adamantly refused. I saved them for baby #2 which she clearly did not appreciate. I couldn't even get them in her mouth because of the superior tongue thrust she developed when I'd come within two feet of her mouth with one. We even bought about 4 more different kinds until finally she will at least occasionally tolerate one type. (I think she really only takes it to pacify me!) Of course it's the biggest ugliest pacifier on the market. No little pink bling-bling pacifiers for my sweetie.
All this to say, this bag of pacifiers had hardly been used so after conferring with my sister about whether or not to actually try to sell these I slapped $2 on them and sheepishly pulled them out the morning of the sale.
Less than an hour later someone came up to me and said, "Are these $2 each?" I'm embarassed to say I actually was trying to read whether or not she'd be willing to pay $2 each before I told her the truth and pocketed her $2. It just goes to show you never know what someone might be willing to buy. Now I can rest assured knowing the pacifier frustrations I endured have come to peace and some other little suckling mouth might find comfort in ways my children couldn't.
I just hope she sterilizes them.

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Check it out

: OK, I found these two websites that are just so cool I have to share with y'all. First is e-mealz. It's a meal-planning service that provides you weekly meal plans complete with shopping lists based on which grocery store you usually do your shopping at. Since they base the meals on what's on sale that week at your store you save money, not to mention the time of not having to think up what you are going to make for dinners that week. If you're like me I HATE planning meals and have been known to sit at the kitchen table for an hour staring at my recipe box trying to plan meals. So if you're the cook in your family, check it out.
Also, check out pandora. It's a music website that creates a radio station playlist for you based on what your favorite artists or songs are. You just type in what your favorite artist is and it starts playing songs by that artist or by different artists that have a similar sound. I can't be on my computer anymore without listening to it, it's fabulous!
Anyway, just a couple fun things I wanted to share.

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Rose

The age old question of "Why do bad things happen to good people?" is pounding in my head this week. My friend delivered a stillborn baby this weekend after her water broke at 21 weeks gestation. I have found myself wrestling with all the stages of grief as I've been reading the updates on what they have had to deal with. My friends gave their baby the middle name Rose and I've been reflecting on what a perfectly symbolic name that is for suffering such a major loss.
With spring coming all the stores have been advertising rose bushes and it has been a constant reminder to me to pray for my friends. I was thinking about how a rose bush is such an appropriate metaphor for tough life situations. They look so prickly and ugly in the stores. You wonder how something so stubby and rough could ever produce something beautiful. But when you take a rose bush home, plant it, care for it, nurture it, from it comes a gorgeous, fragrant, breathtaking flower. Sure it will always have it's thorns. Adversity always leaves scars, painful memories. But the flower, the beauty that comes from those prickly stems is what people stop to notice.

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Just a couple pics of the reasons I haven't blogged in a while!

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Baby Girl

Well, the newest member of our family has arrived! She came two weeks early and it is so strange to me thinking I could still be pregnant right now. Even though it's only been a week since she was born it's already hard to remember what life was like without her. Life feels a little unbalanced after the arrival of a newborn. And yet in other ways life has never felt more balanced. Every day brings new realizations of the losses and gains that ripple through our family because of a tiny 6 lb baby.

What I've lost:
-some sleep
-temporary use of my stomach muscles
-some weight
-some "me" time
-being able to give W my undivided attention
-my previous daily routine

But more importantly, what I've gained:
-pink, pink and more pink
-joy in watching W show unprompted physical affection towards his baby sister
-a fierce desire to protect and provide for my children
-a new respect for hubby as he shows a charming tenderness towards his baby girl
-a sense of completeness
-a renewed awe of God's creativity that can only come from gazing at the tiny fingers of a newborn
-a tremendous responsibility that I can only carry with the help of our Great Creator.

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The Natural

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Daily

My friends J&A have a photo blog called "Not As Daily." Tonight I was reflecting on things that feel very daily and things that feel not so daily. I like the not so daily things much better. Here's my thoughts on the differences:

Things that feel very daily:
-washing my face and flossing my teeth
-saying no and finding a fun distraction when W asks to watch Elmo again(actually that's more like 23 times daily)
-trying to think of healthy things to serve for meals that all of us would like to eat
-hunting for W's fuzzy (his blanket that he can't do without and often leaves in remote corners of the house)
-figuring out what W and I (and sometimes hubby) should wear

Things that feel not so daily:
-being underbudget on my Wal-Mart bill
-hearing a client say, "You know, something we talked about last week really made me think differently about..."
-catching up with old friends when it feels like no time has passed at all since we've seen each other last
-watching the reflections of the round, gold communion trays dance on the vaulted ceilings of our church during a warm and glowing Christmas eve service
-watching W imitate us by pretending to drink juice from our empty plastic communion cups knowing that in some way he is already participating in worshiping Jesus
-having trouble sleeping on Christmas Eve even after all these years

Merry Christmas and blessings in your New Year!

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W-isms

Just thought I'd share a couple W stories that have made us chuckle the past couple days. Stacy brought home the cartoon version of Narnia and although W didn't seem all that interested he must have been particularly impressed with the scene where Aslan goes around breathing life into the characters turned into stone by the witch. We saw him yesterday going around to a bunch of inanimate objects in our house putting his mouth close to them and making a growling/breathing noise on them. How disappointing it must have been to him that the refrigerator did not in fact come to life!
We've also been working on prepping him for the baby coming next month. We'll talk about the baby, pretend with a play baby and read stories about being a big brother. Then today at breakfast hubby asked him, "W, do you want a baby brother or a baby sister?" He paused, said, "hmmm..." Then he pointed to our dog and said, "I want doggy!" Uh oh. He could be in for quite a surprise.

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Little White Hook

We live in a small house. It is tight, it is often cramped and there are some days that I think I will tear my hair out having to look at our full to the brim closets. But it is also very cozy, very warm and I love it. We renovated the house when we moved in so the flooring, paint, cabinets, hardware, etc. is all stuff I got to pick out. It has become home in a way that makes me feel safe, comfortable and I know I will grieve when and if we do move into a bigger house someday.
For example, the bathroom. There is only one and it is not much bigger than a postage stamp. I can reach all four walls while sitting on the toilet. Hubby installed something today that seems insignificant and most people would never notice: a tiny white plastic towel hook on the back of our already white bathroom door. It blends in so well you'd think it's been there for years. But as I brushed my teeth tonight before bed, it caught my eye and suddenly that bathroom felt smaller than ever before.
You see, the reason we installed that hook is because we only had three spots to hang bath towels before. Two towel rods that he and I hang our towels on, and another hook to hang W's towel on. We've been saying for months now that with this new baby coming we need to install another hook for baby's towel and today for whatever reason he actually remembered to pick one up at Wal-Mart and put it up.
It's not like this is the first preparation we've made for the baby. We've been cleaning and prepping and washing and unpacking baby things for some time now. But hanging that permanent little hook on our door today made all this seem so...permanent. I can't help but take a deep breath when I think about the reality of all this. I can't help but question, "How will I handle having to divide my time between two children and a husband all with very specific needs?, How will W adapt and adjust to not being the main and only attraction anymore?, How will I adapt again to sleeping in three hour increments?, How will I get a shower every day?" If I let myself think too long about it suddenly that little white hook becomes quite intimidating.
But tonight that little white hook brought a smile to my face and a giddy-ness to my heart that can only be described as the anticipation a child has the night before Christmas morning. I know realistically that the adjustment won't always be as fun as getting to open that huge shiny present under the tree just for you. I know some days I won't get to shower. But I feel certain that the first time I hang this baby's towel on that little white hook I will be reminded of God's faithfulness, His grace and His blessing in allowing us the pleasure of needing one extra hook.

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Human Tetris

Saw this on Ellen the other day and thought it was so funny I had to share...

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Halloween

We had such a fun time this Halloween. I feel slightly guilty that I was so excited for a pagan holiday but it was just so fun to teach W about costumes and trick-or-treating and pumpkins and candy...plus it means Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner! We were at Wal-Mart over a month ago and thought we'd check out the costumes. The first aisle we went down, the first costume we saw was Elmo and when W pointed to it beaming shouting, "ELMO!" I knew it was coming home with us. But alas, when we got home he would have nothing to do with putting it on his body. He'd hug it, he'd kiss it, he'd carry it around with him but never, never would he allow us to put it on him. We had a couple brief moments over the course of the month when we'd get it over his head for about two minutes but just as soon as he put it on he'd want us to take it off him. So I had serious doubts about whether he would really be Elmo for Halloween or whether he would be a toddler dressed in red carrying an Elmo costume.
The night of Halloween I thought maybe if he saw us handing out candy at the door to kids wearing costumes he'd get the idea but even that did not have an effect on his stubborn will. Finally in desperation and in my sweetest sing-song voice I said, "W, if you put Elmo on I'll give you some yum-yum's!" (his word for m&m's) I couldn't believe how quickly he dove into that costume! Seriously, that's all it took? Why didn't I try that an hour ago? Anyway, we thought we'd test the waters by taking him across the street to our neighbor's house before driving all over Lincoln to show him off. I armed him with his little pumpkin pail that we had been using to hand out candy to the trick-or-treaters who came to visit us and he journeyed off with Daddy to learn the wonders of getting free candy. They were over there for quite a while so I began wondering what the hold up was. When they came back, hubby told me that when our neighbors held out their candy bowl, W tried putting his candy from his pail into their bowl! It didn't take him long to figure out how trick-or-treating is supposed to work though because by the time we got to the next house he was eagerly grabbing as much as his little hands would hold. We went to four or five more houses that night and I couldn't believe he left that costume on the whole night. What wonders candy can work!

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Giant Leap

We're finally doing it. We're disconnecting our landline and going wireless with our cell phones. I know for most of the world this has been an easy choice but for some reason it feels like I'm doing something totally unconventional and "out there." It actually works out to be about five bucks cheaper per month for us to do this and since we've been talking about it for a couple years now we've decided it only makes sense that with the renewal of our cell phone service contract we'll ditch the home phone.
But apparently I have a difficult time adjusting to technological change in the communication world because it has kind of been stressing me out lately! I've always lived with a landline. Growing up I think it was a harvest gold rotary phone hanging on our kitchen wall. Then came push button phones (still corded) and when I got to college I finally sprung for a cordless phone. It's just that the tiny cord running from my phone base into the wall makes me feel safe and secure. It makes me feel as though if I needed it, an ambulence could only get to my house because I have that tiny cord running into the wall. Obviously I can rationalize these silly fears away. But these nagging fears might be plaguing me for quite some time.

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Pachelbel Bedtime

Just too close to reality!

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Things I learned

I have finally had enough time to breathe and relax after my Conference a couple weeks ago and thought I would share some of the lessons I absorbed:

-Love is a condition of the heart. We hear so much that love is an action and that we need to try to love others. H.B. London challenged me to go beyond trying and allow God to change my heart to be so full of His love that loving becomes a natural extension of what I do. Even to those prickly people that are hard to love.

-Know your moment of death story but also know your resurrection story. Dan Allender said that most everyone has a moment of death in life. It is the moment at which you've lost all hope and struggle to come to grips with the reason for living. It is that moment in our lives that gets us interested in counseling, ministry, etc. It is that moment that helps us identify with our clients. But it is our moment of resurrection that keeps us in counseling. It is the moment you surrender to Jesus and experience new life and true hope that provides hope for your clients and strength to continue on the journey. Although being able to identify with your clients in their moment of death is important, you must help them experience their moment of resurrection for true healing to occur.

-Our culture stinks at allowing people to lament after a loss. The accepted grieving period in other religions and cultures can last for years but in our churches we are extremely uncomfortable with that. "Shouldn't they be moving on by now?" We want to see people back up on their feet with smiling faces after a few months because we don't know how to deal with grief, anger, and despair. True healing comes when one feels totally free to lament as long as they need.

-Everyone receives apologies differently. Most people are familiar with Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages but at this conference he outlined his new book about the five languages of apology. I don't remember what they all were but I know for myself, while it's nice to hear the words "I'm sorry," what I really want to hear is regret and true remorse for how I've been hurt. When I hear something like, "I know how much I must have hurt you..." I melt pretty quickly and forgiveness isn't too far away.

-It's unfair what we do to children in our world. From child prostitution/slavery to sexual abuse to expecting them to understand and respond appropriately to their parent's divorce. I can't imagine how much God grieves everyday over what these innocents are exposed to. I attended a workshop that got me more interested in trying a little play therapy with some of my clients. Gary Landreth says children under age 12 can't express their thoughts and feelings verbally so they express it through their play. Part of me is terrified to even consider handling these fragile little lives but part of me can't think of any better way to show love to children whose innocence has been shattered.

Anyway, just some thoughts...

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Facebook

Well, I'm totally hooked. I've been hearing about social networking sites like Myspace and Facebook for a couple years now but just was never really interested in signing up. Curious but not interested. My curiosity finally overcame me and now I'm totally addicted. It's fascinating to me what a simple concept can do to revolutionize the world of internet relationships. And yet somehow also a little scary that cyber-level relationships are fast replacing personal-real-heart-to-heart-level relationships.
I wonder how many friends Jesus would have on His Facebook account...
Anyway, look me up if you're signed up with Facebook.

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AACC

I had the privilege of attending the American Association of Christian Counselors Conference in Nashville, TN this past week. Everything was held at the Opryland hotel which was just magnificent! Some of the speakers included John Ortberg, Max Lucado, John Eldredge, Larry Crabb, Dallas Willard. The musicians were Natalie Grant, Avalon, Michael Card and Steve Green. It was pretty stacked. I'm totally saturated with information and feel like my brain has been functioning on high ever since I got home! I don't even know yet how to describe my experience so I won't even attempt it.

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Surrender

My amazing friend A sent me this clip that I wanted to share with you all. I must admit I was skeptical at first because of all the cheesy dramas I've seen but I got hooked about halfway through. What a perfect picture of how difficult it can be for us to surrender our past to Jesus and allow Him to free us from our vices. Check it out.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5

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Things I wonder about...

We were privileged enough last summer to get to fly out to Colorado with some friends in order to be a part of a friend's wedding. We flew in to Denver's airport and then rented a car to travel the roughly four hours south to where the wedding would be. The trip ended up just being hubby, me, W, and two of hubby's closest guy friends. I rode in the back with W most of the time and on the way back up to Denver after the wedding I made an observation that got me giggling. Guys have a way of wondering. They wonder silently, they wonder aloud, but apparently they really wonder while riding four hours in a car. They wonder about the landscape, they wonder about various machinery along the road, they wonder about business signs and vacant buildings. I can't tell you how many times I heard this phrase, "I wonder how that got there" or "I wonder why that ended up like that."
I pointed this observation out to them and they were shocked to hear that I just don't wonder! Maybe it's a female thing but when I ride in a car I don't wonder about the things I see. (Yes I think, plan and sometimes worry, but it's not wondering like they do) So ever since that conversation I've been paying attention to whether or not I wonder. Maybe I don't wonder in the car but I guess I do wonder. I came up with a list of things I wonder about:
-Apparently this past year I've been wondering if I wonder
-I wonder how they get bridge supports secured in a river
-I wonder what those black birds with red streaks on them are that I always see along the interstate and why they like the busy interstate
-I wonder how the internet really works
-I wonder why I feel so satisfied and complete after having a good heart to heart conversation with someone
-I wonder how it is possible that this tiny life inside me already has a complete set of DNA that will determine his/her personality, interests, demeanor, and uniqueness.
-I wonder why good people experience tragedy
-I wonder what it will be like to meet Jesus someday
-I wonder if anyone actually reads this blog
-I wonder what you wonder about

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Balloon fest

This was Lincoln's Art and Balloon Festival weekend so here's some pics from the fun!

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Blow

W has conquered yet another milestone and I couldn't be more relieved or proud which may sound pretty pathetic seeing as how it's not that he's speaking in sentences or potty trained. It's just that he learned this week how to blow his nose. For six months last winter we dealt with wiping snotty nose after snotty nose until we finally found out that he has a milk allergy, needed his adenoids removed and tubes put in his ears. After that the snotty noses have subsided except for the occassional cold or when we run out of allergy medicine. But I have to tell you, this past cold/allergy bout he's had has made me almost giddy now that he can blow his nose. It's never been so fun or easy to relieve him of his drippyness. And since he thinks it's funny and likes to do it too that makes it even sweeter. It is one of those bodily functions that I totally took for granted until I had to deal with days upon days of carrying a gross wet hanky with me everywhere. No more chasing him around the house or getting him in a headlock in order to wipe his nose. He just comes right to me and after a few blows in a kleenex looks at me with a smile on his face like, "Aren't I just about the biggest boy in the world?" Now if we could just conquer that potty training thing...

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