BCPCC

No my keyboard isn't stuck. BCPCC stands for Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor. It's a credential issued by the International Board of Christian Counselors I applied for over a month ago and just received my approval certificate today! It's basically just a credential that will enrich my counseling validity and provide a Christian based backing for my standing as a counselor. My state license does this but I wanted something Christ based in addition to my secular license. I ordered the application back in January and when the ginormous packet arrived I was so intimidated I let it sit for about two months.
Then when I began filling it out the nature of the questions were so broad I let it sit for another two months. I just didn't know how I was supposed to answer questions like "What's your view on the Holy Spirit?" in fifty words or less. I told myself I'd get it in by June and I think I actually sent it off mid April. I was beginning to wonder if I was going to get rejected and was starting to think it was a waste of my time and money. So I was very excited when I got my certificate in the mail and knew that I wanted to share the news and celebrate with you!

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Abiding Hope

It's a go. Today I sent out letters to fifty area churches inviting them to refer women experiencing infertility or pregnancy loss to a new group I'm starting at my church. I have been considering this idea since before W was born. I wished there was something like this for me to attend when we were wrestling with our own infertility and miscarriage. I never felt prepared or stable enough to start a group of my own the first time around but now that we're facing it all again the journey is different and I want to provide a place for women to process their pain.
So the past few months I've been researching the possibility of starting a group in our community and when I talked to my church about hosting it they were supportive and encouraged me to go for it. I have no idea what to expect so my expectations are very low. Maybe my "group" will end up consisting of me and one other person but I'm ok with that. Maybe my group will end up being twenty people but I really sort of hope that there aren't that many women experiencing this.
The name of the group is called, "Abiding Hope." I chose that name because I love the definition of the word "abiding." One dictionary defines it this way, "abiding is continuing without change; enduring; steadfast." Women experiencing infertility need a hope that can continue, endure and remain steadfast and this is exactly what I hope to offer through this group.
The scariest part of all of this is that I'm going to be giving my testimony in front of church to invite people to be a part of the group. I'm such a baby when it comes to public speaking. So here's a few requests:
1. Pray for me and my group
2. If you know of someone in my area experiencing infertility or pregnancy loss and you think they could benefit from the group, please give them my info.
3. Got any tips to calm my nerves about the public speaking thing?

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Zzzzzz's

I'm tired today. I had one of those sleepless nights last night. You know the kind...where you lay there tossing and turning thinking, "why can't I turn my mind off?" I usually lay there for about an hour thinking, "surely, soon I'll fall asleep." But then I stumble out to the couch hoping some reading will calm my nerves and lure me into the land of Zzzz's.
Last night the burden on my brain was just an overscheduled calendar. May and June are always really busy and for some reason I usually get more stress from the anticipation of it than the actual journey through it. But last night God quieted me with a truth I often forget.
I was reading the story of Deborah in Judges and how she led her people to victory over their oppressors. When her army commander hesitates and seems cowardly she says, "Has not the Lord gone ahead of you?" Those words were what finally brought me sleep. I realized that God is already in June. He's in the busyness preparing the way and there's no reason for me to fear. I can find freedom and peace knowing the victory is already mine!

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All done

One of W's most loved hand signs is "all done". He shakes his hands at mealtime, bathtime, diaper changing time...basically anytime he wants to get out of what we want him to do. I've never been so glad something was "all done" until yesterday after W's surgery. We had to be at the hospital at 5:45 am so we had to leave our house at 5 am. I was up at 2:30 and couldn't get back to sleep because I was so anxious about the day. I know it's just a routine procedure but the thought of someone hurting my baby is just not ok. It doesn't help matters when the doctors, to cover their own malpractice butts I know, explain every possible risk or side effect the surgery could have (even down to the fact that he could have a chipped tooth from where they enter the mouth to remove the adenoid).
However, our routine procedure was exactly that with no complications and we were home with W resting by 10:30 am. The doc said he had quite a bit of fluid in one ear and the adenoid was very enlarged so he thought this would really help him feel better. By today he's been running around like any normal toddler and you'd never know he had surgery yesterday.
I was surprised by a few things yesterday:
Surprised at how nervous I was! I knew I'd be a little anxious about it but wasn't expecting the stomach-churning, can't sleep, can't concentrate nervousness.
Surprised at how ferocious I felt towards the people who wanted to hurt him. Logically I knew they were helping him but my instinct was to tear their throats out when they wanted to take him from me. Don't worry, I controlled myself...mostly.
Surprised at how hard it was for me to trust God that He would take care of my baby. Apparently I have some work to do here.
Surprised at how cute he looked in a hospital gown. I obviously hope I never have to see him in one again, but I had to capture the memory! I don't know why the photo is sideways and can't figure out how to make it upright. If you know, clue me in.

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Hats

Not only does W hate to wear hats and pull them off as soon as I put them on, he apparently doesn't like others to wear them either as evident in this pic of our friends Gunnar and Mike.

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