The Case of the Missing Underwear

W is two and a half, recently potty trained and a boy. All those factors combined means that I have long ago quit battling trying to get him to wear clothing on the bottom half of his body when he doesn't want to. It destroys my serenity and I never win anyway.

So yesterday after lunch was no different than most days when he ran screaming from the bathroom after going potty but before putting his underwear back on. Knowing the futility of engaging in the chase, I half-heartedly threw his underwear at him as I walked through the living room and returned to the kitchen to finish my lunch.

A few minutes later after a noticeably mysterious silence he entered the kitchen (still pant-less) saying, "Mommy? More pants? Mommy? More pants?" Figuring he was finally ready to cover his derrière I went searching for the underwear only to discover them completely out of sight.

After checking all the usual hiding spots: under the couches, behind the pillows, in the toilet, I began wondering if now we had added a new twist to our daily ritual. However, as I continued searching, it was not snickering and giggling I heard from W (as I'd expected to hear) but instead an increasingly feverish, "Mommy? Where pants go? MOMMY?! WHERE PANTS GO?!" The poor kid really didn't know what he had done with his underwear and in typical toddler fashion, because he COULDN'T have
them, he wanted them NOW!

I finally convinced him that a new pair of Lightning McQueen pants would just have to do until the mystery pair decided to show themselves. A few minutes later Super Sleuth Detective Daddy sauntered into the living room and casually said, "What's that lump under the carpet?"

Under the area rug in our living room, smack dab in the middle, lay a little lump of toddler undies.

Don't ask me how they got there.

Don't ask me how he could not have known where they had gone.

But let me tell you...you would have thought we had just found a million dollars under our carpet from the way that little boy reacted.

So we have officially decided...no more presents at birthday or Christmas. All we need to bring excitement to our child is an area rug and a long lost pair of underpants.